The movie was pretty depressing, and for some reason I'm feeling pretty full of ennui myself this afternoon. It's my last day at "home" and my father and C are going out for dinner, just the two of them. Since, you know, Dad and I will be eating together tomorrow night, since he's driving me back to school. Forget the fact that they could choose to go out Sunday night once I'm already gone, or that they already see each other every f***ing day of their lives. Apparently tonight is the best night for a romantic dinner out.
Mostly I'm upset because, really, any expectations of my father are too high. He doesn't pay enough attention to realize what I need him to be, and even if he knew, he doesn't have the guts to do it. All I want is for him to make me a priority, and to make sure his wife knows that I am a priority no matter what she does, but he can't do that. Because when I go back to school, he has to live with her.
And if my mom were still alive, I know she'd be making a nice dinner for tonight, my last night at home. Instead I'll probably have cereal.
Enough ennui. I have to pack.
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